Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Peculiarly British Behaviour

It's often said that the British love to support the underdog. Admirable, I suppose.
In my case, this tendency has got positively disturbing....

Most mornings I purchase a pancake (a Scottish pancake, a.k.a drop scone) from the coffee station in the library. To accompany my pancake, I am offered a choice from a range of preserves nicely laid out in a wee basket. Now, my personal favourite happens to be Apricot Jam. Recently however, alarmed to notice that the wee tubs of Blackcurrant Jam didn't seem to be shifting nearly as quickly as the other varieties, and deducing therefore that Blackcurrant was the least popular preserve amongst the pancake customer-base, I felt it incumbent on me to show solidarity with the rejected jam. I have selected the ootlin Blackcurrant ever since.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Disturbing Development in Domesticity

I don't know what happened to me on Saturday, but I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to bake triple chocolate muffins.
They were very tasty.
I'm scaring myself now.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

O baby!

I have a big decision to make.
Should I or shouldn't I? http://www.kittenwar.com/

The Better Half advises against taking such an enormous risk; he says it'll only give me more to worry about and get stressed over. He's right of course. I really should pretend I've never seen it, and save myself the sleeplessness and heartache that comes with having such an overly-competitive nature.

Jaysus! Why am I even toying with the idea? It's tantamount to being one of those ghastly "Moms" that clart their six year old daughters with hoor's make-up and enter them in beauty pageants. Tyach!

Anyway... everybody with taste knows that Hamish and Izzy are the most beautiful felines in the known universe.

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Sycophantic Slags

O God give me strength. I'm in the midst of one of my more extensive misanthropic phases, and I've started to have these dreams again where I'm running amok with a Kalashnikov or (more agriculturally and, thus, more culturally appropriate) with a spade.

People piss me off. Those who know me won't find this a surprising statement. It's a plain and simple fact. Don't like 'em. Certain kinds of people, however, do more than piss me off, they positively curdle my stomach contents. So who do I reserve the most bile for, I hear you enquire?..... the bloody Group Hug Brigade.

I don't understand why so many people feel the need to gush sympathy at folk they don't even know. All this gubbins of laying floral tributes in public places when some anonymous unfortunate meets with an accident, all the outpourings of sobbing at the latest news broadcast... It seems to me that it's become a new competitive sport, where people score points for how much they're seen to 'care'. And god forbid you don't join in with their pish! It proves how callous and selfish you are if you reserve all your emotions for the people you know and love.

I'm finding myself increasingly unable to tolerate more than a 30 second glance at a messageboard I belong to, because it's so badly affected by the Group Huggers. You can guarantee that daily at least one member will post something about a 'problem' they're 'suffering', and then whoosh! - half a dozen others will rush on straightaway, wielding their hug emoticons and offering 'support' and 'sympathy' in more and more exaggerated terms. It's so patently insincere. At first I was merely bemused but now I'm really finding this sycophancy unbearable. For Christ's sake, these are complete strangers! How can you be arsed? Save your empathy for people you actually know.

I also have to question why people have the urge to talk about these sorts of things in such a public manner. I'd never dream of leaping onto a messageboard to tell all and sundry about distressing medical or personal problems, but it seems some folk just love the attention. Bloody hell, I'd rather have no sympathy than faux-sympathy.

Bugger it, I'm off to look at The Haar again. I think I'll sign up for their Advanced Glowering course. Och no, I'm jist bein daft - I'm hardly in need o't. In fact, I wonder if they're lookin for tutors?